Mel : Are you maybe thinking of our conversation about celebrity sex lists while we drank an entire bottle of red wine on a patio at 2 in the afternoon in Granada? It went something like this... Kate : When you're traveling for an extended period of time, there's always some downtime whether riding a train for 8 hours, a layover in the airport or perhaps drinking a bottle of wine in the afternoon. That's when the fun conversational tangents start...
CELEBRITY SEX LISTS
Kate: Who would be on your celebrity husband list vs celebrity sex list? For instance, John Krasinski would be on my husband list because I'd want to curl up by a fire with him and our Newfoundland while eating soft chocolate chip cookies. Whereas Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy I'd want to sleep with and then take a shower because his hair is so damn greasy.
Mel : I would put JGL at the number one spot on my husband list because he's adorable, can win a lip sync battle with a Nicki Minaj song and he's the type of man that marries a non-famous scientist. For a one-night-stand, I'm going with Matthew Fox. He has weird anger issues but he's so hot in both Lost and Party of Five (except when he had frosted tips in Season Four). Who else you got?
Kate: Ok, next on my list for one-night-stand would be Idris Elba. He seems a little too serious and perfect for the husband slot but have you seen that man in a tux?? Sweet Jesus he looks good. And my next pic for celeb hubby would be Paul Newman in his prime because, well, PAUL NEWMAN.
Mel: I'm going to second Paul Newman. He might be like the hottest man that ever lived. And definitely marriage material since he was married to Joanne Woodward for decades. My next choice for one-night-stand is Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine who plays Jacques on Treme. People need to look this man up! He's so hot and has a really sexy Haitian accent on the show. I'm not putting him on my husband list because I know absolutely nothing about him in real life; the accent might not even be real.
Kate: Woah. Just looked him up and da-yum indeed. Ok, next draft picks would be John Cho for husband because he's dreamy, funny and just political enough without being annoying. And Ryan Gosling for ONS. As much as it saddens me to demote him from his previous husband status, he's gotten just a little too hot in recent years and wears too many hipster tank tops for my liking. But I'd still tap that because I am a human woman.
Mel: I hate the man tanks too but I'm going to put Ryan Gosling on my husband list. I love his taste in women and that he has a sense of humor about Hey Girl. And didn't he save some rando's life in NY? For the sex list, I'm going with Michael Vartan - but as Vaughn from Alias. It would have to be in that parking garage he always met Sydney Bristow in for the secret convos. He seems like kind of a creeper in real life though. Round 4?
Kate: I think for round 4, I'm going to go the fictional route. Because of course the rest of these are grounded in reality :). For husband, I'm going with Lincoln on Broad City. He's so cute, I love every time he talks dentistry and when he named that dog Judith Light, that sealed the deal. For sexy times, it's a tie between Danny on The Mindy Project and Will on The Good Wife. Both have macho anger issues that would drive me nuts but are crazy-bangable hot and can rock a fitted button-down like no other.
Mel : I'm loving your picks! For my fourth husband, I'm going with Steven Yeun. He's hot, has a sense of humor and he probably also has crazy survival skills from being on The Walking Dead. I'm imagining him rubbing two sticks together to start a fire so we can make smores. Ok, for ONS, I'm also going with Chris Messina. I don't know enough about him in real life to want to marry him but he's so cute and one of the main reasons I'm watching The Mindy Project. I also loved him on Six Feet Under. Ok, on to the final round!
Kate: OMG yes! Steven Yeun is very hot and the combo of humor and survival skills is basically like combining Hurley and Sayid but in the form of Jin on Lost.
Mel : I would put JGL at the number one spot on my husband list because he's adorable, can win a lip sync battle with a Nicki Minaj song and he's the type of man that marries a non-famous scientist. For a one-night-stand, I'm going with Matthew Fox. He has weird anger issues but he's so hot in both Lost and Party of Five (except when he had frosted tips in Season Four). Who else you got?
Kate: Ok, next on my list for one-night-stand would be Idris Elba. He seems a little too serious and perfect for the husband slot but have you seen that man in a tux?? Sweet Jesus he looks good. And my next pic for celeb hubby would be Paul Newman in his prime because, well, PAUL NEWMAN.
Mel: I'm going to second Paul Newman. He might be like the hottest man that ever lived. And definitely marriage material since he was married to Joanne Woodward for decades. My next choice for one-night-stand is Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine who plays Jacques on Treme. People need to look this man up! He's so hot and has a really sexy Haitian accent on the show. I'm not putting him on my husband list because I know absolutely nothing about him in real life; the accent might not even be real.
Kate: Woah. Just looked him up and da-yum indeed. Ok, next draft picks would be John Cho for husband because he's dreamy, funny and just political enough without being annoying. And Ryan Gosling for ONS. As much as it saddens me to demote him from his previous husband status, he's gotten just a little too hot in recent years and wears too many hipster tank tops for my liking. But I'd still tap that because I am a human woman.
Mel: I hate the man tanks too but I'm going to put Ryan Gosling on my husband list. I love his taste in women and that he has a sense of humor about Hey Girl. And didn't he save some rando's life in NY? For the sex list, I'm going with Michael Vartan - but as Vaughn from Alias. It would have to be in that parking garage he always met Sydney Bristow in for the secret convos. He seems like kind of a creeper in real life though. Round 4?
Kate: I think for round 4, I'm going to go the fictional route. Because of course the rest of these are grounded in reality :). For husband, I'm going with Lincoln on Broad City. He's so cute, I love every time he talks dentistry and when he named that dog Judith Light, that sealed the deal. For sexy times, it's a tie between Danny on The Mindy Project and Will on The Good Wife. Both have macho anger issues that would drive me nuts but are crazy-bangable hot and can rock a fitted button-down like no other.
Mel : I'm loving your picks! For my fourth husband, I'm going with Steven Yeun. He's hot, has a sense of humor and he probably also has crazy survival skills from being on The Walking Dead. I'm imagining him rubbing two sticks together to start a fire so we can make smores. Ok, for ONS, I'm also going with Chris Messina. I don't know enough about him in real life to want to marry him but he's so cute and one of the main reasons I'm watching The Mindy Project. I also loved him on Six Feet Under. Ok, on to the final round!
Kate: OMG yes! Steven Yeun is very hot and the combo of humor and survival skills is basically like combining Hurley and Sayid but in the form of Jin on Lost.
WEIRDEST/MOST EMBARRASSING SEX PICKS
Kate: Ok, i think for the final round, we need to step it up. Who's the weirdest/most embarrassing person you'd put on your list? Mine is Peter Dinklage :) He's married to a regular sized woman which makes me think he knows what he's doing. Or maybe she's just a gold digger. But I prefer to think the first.
Mel: Hah! Ummm, I think I would go with Miles Teller. Isn't he like 17? I first noticed him in The Spectacular Now but then I really noticed his sweaty hotness in Whiplash. I hope he wouldn't sweat quite that much when we're banging though.
Kate: Oh no. NO. I cop to Peter Dinklage and you say Miles Teller?! First, he's def in his 20's and secondly, he's legit hot. I call bullshit on this one. You need to come up with something better.
Mel: He's in his 20s? Awesome, I'm not a cougar and he's going on my legit list. Ok, I have to think a minute about this one. How about Jon Voight in Coming Home? Not the old Jon Voight that's always going on about how Angelina won't talk to him (although that would be way more embarrassing). I'm talking specifically about him in this one movie from the 70's in which he plays a bitter Vietnam Vet in a wheelchair that has insane chemistry with Jane Fonda.
Kate: I guess i'll give you that one. More because he had really bad hair than the wheelchair thing though.
Mel : For real, and let's be honest, Jon Voight is kind of creepy. Ok, so who is on your bangable women list?
Mel: Hah! Ummm, I think I would go with Miles Teller. Isn't he like 17? I first noticed him in The Spectacular Now but then I really noticed his sweaty hotness in Whiplash. I hope he wouldn't sweat quite that much when we're banging though.
Kate: Oh no. NO. I cop to Peter Dinklage and you say Miles Teller?! First, he's def in his 20's and secondly, he's legit hot. I call bullshit on this one. You need to come up with something better.
Mel: He's in his 20s? Awesome, I'm not a cougar and he's going on my legit list. Ok, I have to think a minute about this one. How about Jon Voight in Coming Home? Not the old Jon Voight that's always going on about how Angelina won't talk to him (although that would be way more embarrassing). I'm talking specifically about him in this one movie from the 70's in which he plays a bitter Vietnam Vet in a wheelchair that has insane chemistry with Jane Fonda.
Kate: I guess i'll give you that one. More because he had really bad hair than the wheelchair thing though.
Mel : For real, and let's be honest, Jon Voight is kind of creepy. Ok, so who is on your bangable women list?
BANGABLE WOMEN
Kate: Hmmm... well I think I'd go with Salma Hayek because she's just so damn hot and honestly, if I could look like anyone, it'd be her. And also the chick who plays Poussey on Orange is the New Black. I read somewhere that her gf was straight before she met her so she must be doing something right AND she is somehow able to look good in prison scrubs. And you??
Mel: I had to look up Poussey since I don't watch OTNB - she's definitely hot! Personally, I think I like women with big hair. My picks would be Ilana Glazer because I love her on Broad City and she's basically playing herself. Also Solange because she's gorgeous and I bet the sex would be good because she's definitely a little unhinged. I would make her wear the orange lipstick because I'm so jealous that she can pull that off. And then I would steal something from her wardrobe after she fell asleep.
Kate: I picture you doing a photo shoot in her clothes and makeup while she sleeps. Amazing.
Mel : You can come pick me up from jail when I get arrested for stalking her.
Kate: Annnnd... check please!
Mel: I had to look up Poussey since I don't watch OTNB - she's definitely hot! Personally, I think I like women with big hair. My picks would be Ilana Glazer because I love her on Broad City and she's basically playing herself. Also Solange because she's gorgeous and I bet the sex would be good because she's definitely a little unhinged. I would make her wear the orange lipstick because I'm so jealous that she can pull that off. And then I would steal something from her wardrobe after she fell asleep.
Kate: I picture you doing a photo shoot in her clothes and makeup while she sleeps. Amazing.
Mel : You can come pick me up from jail when I get arrested for stalking her.
Kate: Annnnd... check please!